We have a problem. 

It’s a preoccupation with looking good—as in, being the recipient of celebratory attention and praise; and I don’t think “worship” would be hyperbole here. We are hyper-fixated on being perceived as X, Y, and Z; obsessed with appearing as this or that.

How many of us pour our energy into performing our lives and activities in a certain way, so as to gain the imagined, or very real, affirmation and celebration from others?

You will not hear me call this a waste, though I’ll say more about this another time.

I am going to say: there’s too much “lookie, lookie, look at me.” Too much emphasis on “How do I look” where “I” is the object, and not enough consideration of how “I,” as the subject, look.

Try this translation of “how do I look?”: “am I seeing truthfully, do I ‘look’–at others, events, things–graciously, generously?”

Let’s have more conversations around, or about, the quality of attention by which or through we take in information. How do we begin?

What words can be used to describe the quality of one’s gaze? Here are several to get you started on your own investigation:

• Flippant

• Judging

• Gracious

• Inquisitive

What other qualities do you notice? What else do you discover in yourself? With whom (*pinkies up*) can you discuss and share this question?

How do you look?

— yours truly,

video transcript

Hi! 

First ever Vlog. 

How do I look?

How do I look–not asking as in “object,” but as a subject. “How do I look?” 

So often we are consumed with how we will appear, how we will be perceived, or even in wanting to be perceived or appear a certain way. And yet when we focus on those things, we often block our own energy, our own life, from unfolding naturally in being, or existing in a certain way that we hope to achieve. 

So, rather than being consumed with “how do I appear?” you can shift into, “how am I looking” and even as subtle as that is, asking yourself “how am I looking at myself in this moment?” can give you a completely new pathway to flow into, where you can start to explore, you can play. You can investigate in a way that is supportive rather than dominating, and those kinds of opportunities are the gifts that you give yourself and others in a moment when there might be a lot of pressure. 

So, what do you think–how do you look?